Seriously, this crap is out of control. My inbox is flooded with messages for miracle cures. How can I filter all this garbage? It's making me nuts.

• I just want get a legitimate email for once.
• Maybe someday this will stop.
• {Until then|{Until that day arrives|I'm stuck with deleting spam all day long.

Spam: The Digital Poop In My Inbox

My inbox feels like a garbage dump/is overflowing with/is choked by spam. It's like someone is dumping/as if an automated bot is relentlessly pouring/throwing/sending digital poop into my virtual mailbox every day. Every time I try to get some work done/check for legitimate emails/enjoy a moment of peace, there it is: another {outrageous offer/unbelievable deal/suspicious message from some random company/person/scheme. It's enough to make me want to throw my computer out the window/delete my email account/scream into the void.

• I swear I didn't sign up for/How did they even get my email address?/Who gave them permission to bombard me with this junk?
• There are so many variations/It's always different/They use every trick in the book!
• Maybe one day I'll find a way to stop it/Someday they'll catch those spammers/Perhaps there's a magic spell for this problem.

This Spam Is Driving Me Crazy

Seriously, too much is just plain wrong. Every day I get flooded with your lame advertisements for things I don't even need. I've made an effort to unsubscribe, but it's like talking to a deaf ear. At this point, I'm just pissed off.

• Just quit spamming me.
• Get a clue.
• Consider this my final warning.

Make This Spam Stop You Goddamn Pieces Of Shit

Listen up, you bunch of cretins. This spam/junk mail/crap needs to cease. I'm sick with your garbage to scam/con/trick me.

You think you're so clever sending me this useless/pointless/worthless junk, but you're just a bunch of losers. I'm going to report/block/slander every single one of your emails/messages/schemes. So Take that as a threat.

• Go away
• Just stop it

Enough is Enough, You Spamming Bastards!

Listen up, you lowlifes! Your annoying emails are clogging up inboxes and irritating people. We've had enough get more info of your crap. This is your last chance to quit this. Keep sending that nonsense, and we'll be forced to take legal action. Understand? Yeah, right.

Drop Dead With Your Annoying Emails

You think you're so smart, sending out your junk to every random person you can find. But guess what, moron? I give a damn for your deception. Get a real job or go outside already.

• Drop Dead With Your Spammy Texts
• I don't care
• Get a real job or kill yourself already.